...ThE BroKen ParT of Me...

People are living in this world not knowing their purpose in life..just like me, that's why I believe that I live in the world of darkness. No light, no hope. And the only thing that is visible to me in this world of shade are Despair and Fake faces.


Sometimes I wish I never live. I always wish that when my dad forced my mom to abort me,she had followed, then I will not be here where I am now. Staring at this cruel world. The world that makes my life uneasy and so much unbearable.

I hate my dad, my mom, my family and even the people around me. I hate my dad because when he married my mom, he'd never been a good husband nor even a good dad.
I hate my mom because she had been blind on what my dad were doing just because of her love to my dad. She loved him very much. she didn't care at all even if my dad was hurting her physically and emotionally.


I hate my family because I never wanted to be w/ them. My mom and my dad always had contradicting ideas. I didn't even know what is good or bad because I'm always wrong. they were always putting the blame on me and I have no choice but to accept.And I'm accepting it.. They don't have to tall me at all.
I was just so happy when the time came that my mom realized that my dad was bad and still acting as if he was single..So they separated and we ran away..it was November 26, 2008..

If ever I'm not in this world right now,maybe my mom should have a pleasant life..And she wouldn't have to experience what she's going through right now..


Now I should be glad because we are totally free from my dad.. But still, there is a question roaming my mind,"why am I still feeling so sad?", "why am I weary?","Why I still feel incomplete?". These are the questions that I long for an answer. I kept this to myself and kept on pretending that I have a happy family. with mother, brother and sisters,,even w/o my father..

It came to the point that I can't control my emotions anymore..I can no longer fool myself. I gave up. That was when I tried to commit Suicide. I was really desperate that I could not see anything good but the cruelty of the world.


But realization came in. I thought of my mother. I'm her only hope..


I realized that I have to be strong and face all the odds. there might be a broken part of me but I know in God's perfect time, I will be able to fix those broken pieces of mine. I will be able to stand up and face the world again..